so i find myself often playing along with boys that im not necessarily that interested in. texting them and tentatively discussing future plans, like meeting up later that night or another day. i love having a list of boys i can text or that are texting me. most of these boys are solid back ups. but rarely get to the top of my to do list. i meet new people who become priorities.. it might seem like i am letting a few boys who wouldnt otherwise stand a chance with me, get to play with me and think they are getting their way with me. but the reality is that i need their attention to bulk out list of potentials and keep my mind occupied. and these boys are chasers. that is another reason most will never rise to the top of the list. they make me feel good with their attention, but i dont generally hook up with chasers. if i dont want you immediately, chances are i never will. and pestering about that will just put me off. i dont really have a final point to make. was just sitting here on the bus thinking about it as i was texting a boy i kissed last night about how i was gonna meet him later tonight. ill probably be busy. i have two people above him on todays to do list. now that decision will be hard when it comes to it. the virgin or the smooth, confident, new 18 yr old. im quite a fan of letting fate take its path. so when i have a few lined up there will usually be a natural conclusion where fate aligns and leaves me with only one option. there was a night when this didnt happen. i will tell you about that one day and how i pissed of a whole bunch of boys in one move.